General Manager of the Zaza Dancers Resorts to Extreme Messures

It seems that life at the bottom may only be temporary for Alan McFadden, general manager of the Zaza Dancers. With his team starting to turn around slowly, and injuries beginning to plague his rivals, it's only a matter of time before the once massive gap is closed. Unfortunately, life at the bottom has taken its toll on the young general manager, and has driven him over the edge. The Flare Group News team has learned that Alan McFadden has put out a hit on Julien Bergeron, general manager of the first place Missanabie Bears. It is expected that the assassins that have been hired are none other than the Hockey Ninjas.

Little known in history are the events of the 1905 Missouri Hockey Massacres. The Missouri Globes were a rising hockey team, expected to become one of the greatest competitors in the world when it came to hockey. On a cold January evening, they faced a new, rising team, that to this day, nobody knows the name of. Money was short in Missouri at that time, so the unnamed team resorted to immigrant labour. The team was mainly comprised of Japanese immigrants, looking to make some money on the side of their already unfair labour duties. The Globes, becoming quite elitist in their ways, decided to take liberties with this team, playing overly aggressive, and starting many fights. Unfortunately, the Globes did not know that the immigrants were actually descendants of the last Ninja clan of Japan. The entire Globes team was slaughtered brutally, with not a single survivor remaining. The Ninjas then went into hiding, and became known as the Hockey Ninjas. This story has been omitted from most hockey histories due to the graphic nature that accompanies it.

If the rumours are true, then Julien Bergeron finds himself in a very dangerous situation. We attempted to find Bergeron in order to get his comment on these events, however, we found that he had gone into hiding... for a little while, anyways. After following a trail of Lays BBQ Potato Chip crumbs through the Missanabie Arena, we found a man we believed to be Bergeron hiding in one of the washroom stalls. He had this to say:

"I'm not... I mean, Julien Bergeron isn't in here. Go away!"

-Julien Bergeron, General Manager of the Missanabie Bears?

We attempted to contact the GM's of the other teams in the Flare Group, but only one decided to talk to us. That general manager was Devyn Gagnon of the Hamilton Tigers. Unfortunately, his comment did not relate to the events involving Zaza and Missanabie at all:

"No. No fricken' way! I'm tired of you asshats taking my words and twisting them around into something completely different! For God's sake, in your last report, you made up every single quote! Get the hell out! I'm not talking to you anymore!"

-Devyn Gagnon, General Manager of the Hamilton Tigers

Gagnon would then go on to say that he's a little princess that bakes cupcakes with his mother. However, this still doesn't change the fact that the Flare Group has risen to a new level of intensity. Zaza has played his cards, and is hoping that things work out, whereas Missanabie may be spending too much time watching his back to notice the important details that come with running a successful hockey team.

Tune in to FGN on November 1st, as we will be taking a deep look at the Springfield Hell's Satans in our Profile segment!

Current Standings:

Team	Points
Missanabie Bears	174
Kansas City Archangels	169
Hanmer Velocity	159
Hamilton Tigers	157
Springfield Hell's Satans	142
Zaza Dancers	127

Tight Race for Top Spot

There is an epic battle brewing for the top spot of the Flare Group VI between Kansas City, Missanabie, and Hanmer. Although first place Kansas City is dominating in terms of points per game, Missanabie's lead in games played is allowing the team to make a run for top spot. Close behind Missanabie is Hanmer, who has found new life with recent performances from the likes of Michael Cammalleri and Loui Eriksson.

Unfortunately, due to a recent slowdown of the Ovechkin and Capitals train, Hamilton has recently found himself temporarily out of the picture after a great start seeing him hold onto top spot for weeks. When shown the statistics, the GM of the Hamilton Tigers had this to say:

"Wow. I dropped that much? That's pathetic."

-Devyn Gagnon, General Manager of the Hamilton Tigers

However, he maintains that with Semin returning to the lineup shortly in Washington, one can expect point production for his numerous Capitals players to once again rise. However, he has a ways to go before he can get back into the picture for top spot. Until then, he lives pointlessly between the titans of the top like Kansas City, Missanabie, and Hanmer, and the peons of the pit, which include Springfield and Zaza.

When approached by us, the respective GMs of the top three teams had their own comments regarding where they were going, and what they were expecting:

"I understand that the Kansas City Archangels are being challenged for top spot of the group by several teams. I have full faith that the likes of Joe Thornton, Dany Heatley, Evgeni Nabokov, Martin Brodeur, and the rest of my team will maintain that spot, and squash those competitors. I expect fully that they will continue to perform like star players, and even better. Also, expect a massive trade in the near future; we refuse to sit calmly."

-Carl Newton, General Manager of the Kansas City Archangels

"We came out of the gate to a rough start; it's really no secret. Instead of sticking our heads up our asses like Springfield and Zaza did, we played through the rough times until we managed to pull things together. Every team has a drought once in a while; we just got ours out of the way early. Needless to say, we're back now, and we're going to prove to the world that we're serious contenders. Carl Newton and Julien Bergeron had better watch their backs."

-Shaun Sproule, General Manager of the Hanmer Velocity

"Hockey is fun."

-Julien Bergeron, General Manager of the Missanabie Bears

Unfortunately, the General Managers of Springfield and Zaza could not be reached for comment. Actually, that's not entirely true. We just didn't want to waste our time.

With such fierce words being exchanged by most of the teams' managers, it's clear that we're witnessing the preparation of a foundation ideal to support a battle of epic proportions. Stay tuned to FGN for more updates, specials, and interviews. Thank you for reading.

Current Standings:

Team	Points
Kansas City Archangels	157
Missanabie Bears	156
Hanmer Velocity	150
Hamilton Tigers	133
Springfield Hell's Satans	124
Zaza Dancers	110