Kansas City sends Kovalchuk to Zaza for 1st Overall Pick

After witnessing the first trade of the offseason between Missanabie and Hanmer, which resulted in the swapping of superstars Zach Parise and Duncan Keith, we all knew that this offseason was going to be something special. Now, we're here to report that a second trade has been announced involving last year's first place and last place teams, the Kansas City Archangels and the Zaza Dancers. Our reports state that Carl Newton, general manager of the champion Kansas City Archangels, and Alan McFadden, general manager of the last place Zaza Dancers, spent several hours negotiating to make this trade happen. The details:

To Zaza:
-Ilya Kovalchuk
-Maxim Afinogenov
-Alexei Ponikarovsky OR Dustin Brown*
-2010 KAN 2nd Round Draft Pick
* = Either Ponikarovsky will remain in Kansas City, or will be traded to Missanabie for Dustin Brown; whoever is in Kansas on August 1st will be automatically traded to Zaza.

To Kansas City:
-2010 ZAZ 1st Round Draft Pick

And there it is, for the first time ever, draft picks have been exchanged in the FGHL. At the cost of three excellent scorers, including a massive name such as Kovalchuk's, one can be sure that Newton has big plans for the first overall pick in the 2010 FGHL Draft. We managed to sneak past the hounds in Carl's mansion on his private island to ask him of his intentions:

"You ask of my intentions? Let me tell you of my intentions! I intend to collect all of the first overall draft picks in the world! When I do, the entire sports universe will bow before the might of my army of picks! Yes, that's it. Let it all settle in. Come to terms with the fact that you're too late to stop me. The plan is already in motion! Alan McFadden has sealed the fate of the FGHL and the petty lives sheltered beneath its umbrella of alleged security! I won't be stopped! Now, get the hell off of my island, before I make you the first victim of the new regime!"

-Carl Newton, General Manager of the Kansas City Archangels

After receiving the extremely confusing and chilling quote from Newton, we contacted McFadden. Though slightly concerned about Newton's mental health, we chose to ask McFadden of the far more important issue of Kovalchuk considering offers from the rival KHL. He had this to say:

"We have no worries of Ilya Kovalchuk defecting to the KHL; he'll remain with us. It is general knowledge that the KHL only attracts a certain quality of player. Those players are prominently Russian, offensively gifted while severely lacking in any form of defensive skill, afraid to engage in physical confrontation, suffering from a need to be the center of attention, lacking in success in any playoff format, and would much rather be overpaid and overrated instead of winning. You see, we don't have anything to worry abo... oh crap."

-Alan McFadden, General Manager of the Zaza Dancers

There you have it! With the champions moving from 6th to 1st overall, one can be sure that the 2010 FGHL Draft will be an interesting one. However, there are many questions that remain unanswered. For instance, who is the general manager of the second expansion team? Who will pick first in the expansion draft? Who will be selected first overall? Stay tuned, as we answer these questions and more on FGHL News.

Final Standings (2009-2010 Season):

Team	Points
Kansas City Archangels	1148
Hanmer Velocity	1144
Hamilton Tigers	1108
Missanabie Bears	1089
Springfield Hell's Satans	992
Zaza Dancers	798