Good Beginnings
After an excellent draft that saw the Missanabie Bears take Zach Parise fourth overall in the first round, things started well for the Bears and general manager Julien Bergeron. As the season began, players who had no luck in previous years producing large point totals were doing just that. Players such as Rich Peverley were stepping it up big time for the Bears. On October 31st, the Missanabie Bears tied the Kansas City Archangels for first place in the league.
The Missanabie Slaughter
Unknown to Bergeron at the time, his fellow general managers were plotting against him. Not enjoying the close competition, Carl Newton of the Kansas City Archangels was feeling weary; many of the Bears' key players were performing well above their usual standards, and it would not be long before Missanabie tasted first place. As a result, Newton contacted Springfield's general manager, Brian Pittman, to strike a deal that would harm the Bears' progress.
Originally, the deal was made up of two parts. The first part involved Newton utilizing his negotiation skills to land Springfield some decent prospects, with the second part of the deal involving Pittman murdering Bergeron in his sleep. Pittman backed out of the deal at the last minute, and convinced Newton to help him in another way. Instead, Pittman and Newton decided that they would convince Bergeron to give up one of his most productive players: Roberto Luongo.
The trade took some time to negotiate, but eventually Bergeron cracked on November 8th. The trade that would ultimately become known as The Missanabie Slaughter was as follows:
To Springfield Hell's Satans:
-Roberto Luongo
-Conditional MIS JAN Free Agent Trade
-Conditional MIS FEB Free Agent Trade
To Missanabie Bears:
-Cam Ward
-SPR DEC Free Agent Trade
Conditions:
-The MIS JAN Free Agent Trade goes to Springfield if Luongo does not reach 35 points from November 8th to January 1st.
-The MIS FEB Free Agent Trade goes to Springfield if Luongo reaches 35 points from November 8th to January 1st.
Outrage was the general response across the league. The fact that Bergeron had traded his star goaltender to Springfield for a mediocre goaltender with injuries at the time was mind boggling. Even worse, Bergeron had received a Free Agent Pick in the deal, only to give up one in return. General managers not involved in the deal were left scratching their heads; Bergeron had gained nothing. Many believed that Bergeron had sold his soul to Hell's Satans, and gave the win to Archangels as the Bears were their only competition at the time. However, the question remains: how bad was this trade, really?
The Missanabie Slaughter: An Analysis
This trade was notorious, and still is. The general consensus across the league is that it was terrible. Not bad, not so-so. Terrible to the fullest extent. We've broken down the trade utilizing a combination of subjective and objective methods. First, we will bring tangible factors into sight:
The Raw Numbers
Missanabie gave up a star goaltender in Roberto Luongo, without a doubt, as he went onto produce 78 points for Springfield. In exchange, Missanabie received an injured Cam Ward and a pick; before Ward could even produce a single point, he would be released from his contract. Utilizing the pick they received, Missanabie would sign Ryan Miller. Miller would go onto produce 62 points for Missanabie throughout the rest of the season.
Missanabie Result: -16 Points
On the other end of the deal was Springfield. Springfield gave up Cam Ward. Cam Ward, in spite of being released by Missanabie quickly, would go on to produce 34 points throughout the rest of the season. In exchange, Springfield gained Roberto Luongo, who would produce 78 points throughout the rest of the season. In addition to this, Springfield received a Free Agent Pick which they would use to exchange David Booth for Henrik Sedin. Booth would produce 13 points after the release, and Sedin would produce 36 after being signed on.
Springfield Result: +67 Points
In a nutshell, the raw numbers present the conclusion that Springfield committed highway robbery. Springfield gained a total of 67 points from this trade, while Bergeron actually lost points. The Missanabie Slaughter is the definition of one sided. Or is it? Let's take a look at the estimations of future outcomes:
The Past and Future: What if, and what will be?
The first question obviously is, what would have happened if this trade was not made? Obviously, Bergeron would have kept Luongo, and the 78 points he would have produced. The 16 point deficit on the trade would have been eliminated. However, this goes beyond those 16 points. Bergeron had to utilize a FAP to exchange an injured goalie. That FAP could have been used elsewhere had he kept Roberto Luongo. Looking at the FAP use across the league, it can be said that if Bergeron had not made the trade, his FAP could have been used to bring in a new player to fill another position, ultimately leading to more point gain. The likes of Richards, Malkin, Spezza, and more were all available, and could have made a massive difference for the Bears. However, since this is pure speculation, the actual truth will never be known.
The second question is more important: what happens now that the season is over? Simply put, it's difficult to say if the trade lost Bergeron the championship. It is easier to determine, however, what will happen in the future. Unknown to many across the league, Bergeron might be catching a break next season, and Springfield may be facing some issues. Bergeron may have traded a star goaltender in one of the most one-sided trades in FGHL history, but the salaries tell a different tale. Next season, Ryan Miller, who was acquired by Missanabie as a result of this trade, will make 6.25 million dollars; this is adequate for a goaltender of Miller's caliber. On the other side of the deal, Roberto Luongo's salary will skyrocket to a massive 10 million dollars, placing Springfield, arguably, into a tough position. Ultimately, the acquisition of Henrik Sedin for use in future seasons as a result of this trade will always make Springfield the undeniable winner, but in the end, fans of the Bears can find some solace in the fact that their already terrible cap situation was not made worse.
In conclusion, the Missanabie Slaughter was just that: a slaughter. Though there's some very small benefits for Bergeron to look forward to in the near future, the fact of the matter remains that he gave up the world for a sack of used tampons.
The Aftermath
The aftermath of the slaughter was not immediate, but took its toll slowly. Missanabie would overtake Kansas City for first place, and hold the position for three weeks after the trade. However, after the initial three week period, Missanabie would begin feel the effects of the trade, and would begin to plummet. Unfortunately, Bergeron had become accustomed to success, and his desperation led to a move that would become just as notorious as his last one.
The Missanabie Massacre
Following a rebuild plan that he received in a trade with Kansas City in exchange for Chris Osgood's soul, Alan McFadden, general manager of the Zaza Dancers, sought to make a deal with Bergeron. Bergeron, desperate to climb out of his current position of third place, and back into the hunt, was ready to sell the farm. Unfortunately for the bears and their fans, he did just that December 9th:
To Zaza Dancers:
Niklas Kronwall
Trevor Daley
Braydon Coburn
David Krecji
Patrick O'Sullivan
MIS MAR Free Agent Trade
MIS APR Free Agent Trade
To Missanabie Bears:
Pavel Kubina
John-Michael Liles
Kris Letang
Blake Wheeler
Saku Koivu
Again, general managers not involved in the trade were left scratching their heads. Bergeron had sold the future of his team for decent players, but none of which would contribute long term. In addition to that, Bergeron's defensive salary had just become one of the highest in the league, thanks to the combined total of nearly 10 million dollars being spent just on Kubina and Liles alone. Some questioned Bergeron's sanity at this point. We've broken down the trade, to see if there was any reasonable excuse to pull this off.
The Missanabie Massacre: An Analysis
Though not as notorious as the Missanabie Slaughter, the Massacre is still one of the most lopsided trades in FGHL history according to most people. We take a look at why, again starting with the numbers:
The Raw Numbers
The raw numbers surprisingly benefit Bergeron and the Bears. Though not every player went on to produce as much as Bergeron had probably expected, the acquisition of Saku Koivu who had reawakened at the perfect time was enough to push Bergeron to the top of the mountain when it came to points alone. All in all, Bergeron gained points in this trade, but gave up two picks to do it.
Missanabie Result: +30 Points, -2 FAPs
McFadden and the Dancers did not win the point race for this trade. They didn't have to. By the time this trade was made, Zaza was out of first place by nearly 120 points; they had no chance to win, so chose to enter rebuild mode. Where they lost in the point race, they won in freeing up defensive salary, and utilizing the Free Agent Picks to sign Evgeni Malkin and Brad Richards, who would ultimately replace David Krecji and Slava Kozlov. In the end, McFadden did not win the point race, but set himself up for success in the 2010-2011 season.
Zaza Result: -24 Points, +2 FAPs (points from FAPs included in point totals)
As we sit here reading over this now, we know that Bergeron would ultimately end the season in fourth place. At the time this trade was made, Bergeron was approximately 30 points out of first place. He made a desperate move to win it all, and it failed. However, what must be looked at now is what could've been, and what will be.
The Past and Future: What if, and what will be?
Firstly, we'll address what would've happened if Bergeron had not made this trade. Firstly, we know that his defense would have been a lot cheaper and more manageable. This would have allowed Bergeron to sign on more expensive forwards right away, instead of being faced with the task of eliminating overpriced defensemen first. In addition to this, Bergeron would have had two more picks to utilize, and would have been able to pick up better forwards. This alone could have easily led to more than the 30 points that Bergeron accumulated from the trade.
Secondly, we'll address what happens now. As we all know, Bergeron has one of the most expensive defense cores in the league now. Because he was not able to utilize his remaining picks to bolster his offense, he is now tasked with entering the 2010-2011 season with a mediocre roster. This is not to say that Bergeron won't be able to make things happen at the draft; it just means that Bergeron is looking at climbing a much steeper hill than everybody else. Some would say the hill is actually a mountain. Some would say the mountain is a hole, a hole filled with snakes and ugly naked old ladies. A frightening thought. Needless to say, since the risk did not pay off, the Bears lost this trade, and a lot more.
Simply put, the Missanabie Massacre was a massacre on the Bears' future.
Rivalry with Devyn Gagnon
A rivalry began to fire up between Julien Bergeron and Hamilton Tigers general manager Devyn Gagnon shortly after the Missanabie Massacre was finalized. Apparently, the relationship between the two general managers broke down after a three day period, after Gagnon had failed to acquire first round pick, Zach Parise, from Bergeron.
Though the offers made by Gagnon were initially hidden, we here at the FGHL News team have uncovered them. Apparently, Gagnon had requested the services of Parise from Bergeron in exchange for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a glass of milk. Our sources tell us that Gagnon demanded that the trade be accepted, as it was equal to what Bergeron received in the Slaughter and Massacre trades. Bergeron agreed, but chose not to be ripped off again; instead, he demanded that Gagnon include a bag of chips and a Twix chocolate bar in the deal.
Unfortunately, the deal could not be made. Apparently, Kyle Wellwood and his agent had visited the team prior to negotiations. Though Wellwood was turned down, and not signed by the Tigers, he would consume the city's entire stock of snackfood, including the potato chips and chocolate bars. The deal with Bergeron could not be made, sending Gagnon into a frenzy. The rivalry would be solidified after Gagnon would attack Bears forward Milan Michalek out of rage, sidelining him for several games.
The Eventual Loss
Though Missanabie would remain competitive immediately after the trade, they would never see first, or even second place for the remainder of the season. As the months flew by, we found the Bears falling out of competition by March. By the start of April, they had fallen to fourth place, having been overtaken by the Hamilton Tigers. At the end of the season, Bergeron and the Bears would finish fourth, and would receive harsh criticism for their team management, particularly the cap.
The Cap and the Future
Out of all teams, the Missanabie Bears face the biggest obstacle heading to the draft: the cap. According to a report, the Missanabie Bears will likely be going into the Dropping Period, in which they must drop all but ten players from their roster, with approximately $80,000,000.00 tied up in salaries. After dropping ten players, Bergeron will have to draft ten to achieve, again, a 20 man roster. The catch is, that his total payroll will have to be less than $59,400,000.00 by the time it is over. Many question if it's possible for Bergeron to drop so much salary, while maintaining a competitive team. Only time will tell.
Final Standings (2009-2010 Season):
| Team | Points |
| Kansas City Archangels | 1148 |
| Hanmer Velocity | 1144 |
| Hamilton Tigers | 1108 |
| Missanabie Bears | 1089 |
| Springfield Hell's Satans | 992 |
| Zaza Dancers | 798 |
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