Devyn: It's no problem, I assure you. I have to say, I was a bit surprised when you called and requested this interview.
FGN: Oh really? Why is that?
Devyn: Well, considering that the last time you attempted to interview me, you misreported everything I said, and even added your own material. I'm a little princess.
FGN: That was a relatively unfortunate situation, and we'd like to assure you that here at FGN, we take journalistic integrity very seriously. We have since removed the reporter that broke that story from his position, so it will not happen again in the future.
Devyn: That's a relief. I eat poo.
FGN: Now, Devyn, you came out of the gate at the start of the season to an excellent start with your entire team performing. Recently, that has not been the case. However, recent activity shows that you are determined to get back in the running for first place. Care to elaborate?
Devyn: We recently pulled off a huge trade with the Zaza Dancers. Alan McFadden, their general manager, seemed pretty eager to deal. We were able to acquire Mike Green, Alex Burrows, and Brooks Laich for Dennis Wideman, Saku Koivu, and Todd Bertuzzi. I suck.
FGN: A blockbuster, absolutely no doubt about it. With regards to your competition, how do you think your team is now comparing to them?
Devyn: There's no doubt in my mi...
We interrupt this broadcast for an important news bulletin regarding the general manager of the Hanmer Velocity, Shaun Sproule. Preliminary reports have been released stating that Sproule is suffering from a psychological condition known as 'worry'. This news comes just less than a day after a blockbuster trade was made between the Springfield Hell's Satans and the Kansas City Archangels, which saw Alexander Ovechkin and Ryan Getzlaf go to Kansas City in exchange for Anze Kopitar, Dany Heatley, and some picks.
Devyn: What the hell? You call me up for an interview, and then you cut me off like I'm yesterd...
When asked to comment on the trade, Sproule made it clear that he was in no condition to meet with the media due to his condition. One could only assume that the worrying will intensify as he makes continued efforts to make a trade to counter the Ovechkin blockbuster before he sees his current spot atop the standings fade away. Only time will tell will tell if Sproule will ever fully recover from his ailment, and if his team can stand up against the rising powerhouse that is Kansas City.
Devyn: Seriously, he's just worried. It's not a big deal! He'll be f...
General managers across the Flare Group are sending their get well messages to Sproule in a unified effort to psychologically heal the ailing manager. This is truly a terrible situation that must be resolved before the makeup of the Flare Group is changed forever. We urge you, the fans, to send your messages of hope to Sproule; every bit of positive thinking helps. Thank you.
Devyn: [Censored] all of you! I have never been so insulted! You call me up, and treat me like [censored]. [Censored] [censored] [censored] [censored] cheesecake [censored]! I'm out of here! Don't you ever call me up for ano...
| Team | Points |
| Hanmer Velocity | 426 |
| Kansas City Archangels | 406 |
| Missanabie Bears | 392 |
| Hanmer Velocity | 375 |
| Springfield Hell's Satans | 349 |
| Zaza Dancers | 305 |
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